Both success and failure are inevitable in life. Just like in games, you win some and lose others.
It is therefore important to put failure into a proper perspective. Napoleon hill said in his popular book “Think and Grow Rich” that failure is just a temporary defeat and a stepping stone to a greater achievement.
Tips for managing your failures
Admit failure to yourself
It is common seeing people making accusing others of their mistakes. People blame their parents for giving them poor education, nutrition and upbringing. They also blame their teachers, government or the society.
We tend to deny failure and not want to admit it. But as long as you deny your failure, you can not learn from your mistakes and you will not be able to turn them into achievement.
Allow feelings of Anxiety, Anger, and Failure.
Whenever our expectations are not met, negative feelings such as fear , anger, anxiety set in.
You can not avoid these feelings and should rather give yourself time to feel them and heel yourself.
It is good to feel sad when necessary for a limited period. No matter the level of disappointment or failure, you’ll get well naturally after some time.
Don’t try to pretend you’re well when you’re not, it will only build up pent-up emotions that will grow bigger in you.
Talk out your failure, release the negative feeling and you’ll get over it quicker than expected.
Analyze the Failure objectively
We deal with mistakes very differently but the best way is to seek an objective analysis of the situation.
You need to find the causes of the failure and ask yourself some important questions.
- What are the ways I’ve contributed to the failure?
- What factors that I couldn’t control that lead to the failure?
- Differentiate your personal contribution to the failure and the factors that are beyond your control.
It is easy to improve on yourself and prevent failure than on others, the government policies, weather, disaster etc.
You should close the analysis with these questions
- What can I do better in the future?
- How can I avoid the mistake in the future?
Give up your self-pity
Self-pity and licking your wounds is good for a short time. However, self-pity can really prevent you from getting over defeat quickly and move on.
It prevents you from analyzing the situation, learning from your mistakes and correcting them.
Some other people also make mistakes and get into more problem if they don’t study the causes of the problem. Therefore, accept that bad things happen to good people like you from time to time.
- Practice constructive self-criticism
Most of us have been raised to feel guilty about failure when we fail.
With accusations like “I wouldn’t have …”, “How could I …” or “Why I didn’t, I should have …” we rack our brains.
The result is that one feels anger and hatred towards oneself and the feelings of guilt are completely unnecessary.
We do not reverse our mistakes by reproaching ourselves. Feelings of guilt don’t necessarily help correct our mistakes nor can they help us from making more mistakes in the future.
Instead of keeping yourself in the bondage of guilt, you should strive to understand your mistakes and work on correcting them.
We will make mistakes as long as we live because we are born ignorant and imperfect.
We should therefore forgive ourselves for our mistakes, and turn it around for great achievement.